By: Max Jasper

September 8, 2025

Have you ever sent someone a text, then realized, after a few days or maybe even a few weeks, that they never responded? I know I have. Strangely, these instances have all involved young adults between the ages of 18 and 26, rather than older individuals. So, I decided to dig deeper into the mystery of the “unread message bubble” among young adults. Let’s dive in.

To conduct this analysis, I needed three participants. Naturally, they wouldn’t know I was analyzing their response times, so I reached out to three different people using three common messaging platforms: iMessage, Facebook Messenger, and Instagram DM.

One variable at play was my relationship with each participant. One was my former roommate, another was a teammate from my college cross country team, and the third was a classmate who had previously reached out to me a year or so ago.

I messaged each of them cordially, respectfully, and politely. Would the nature of our relationship influence their response?

Nope. None of them replied. In fact, none of them even opened the messages I sent. They simply left me on “delivered.”

Thanks to social media, their activity status is visible to followers. Since all three follow me on various platforms, I could see they were active at different points throughout the day, yet they still chose to ignore my message.

Because this was an experiment, I wasn’t personally offended by their ghosting. But I couldn’t help wondering: why?

I hadn’t done anything to warrant being ignored. My last interactions with each of them were positive. So what’s going on?

Here are a few possibilities:

1. Digital Overload. As mentioned earlier, the world of social media is more expansive than ever. With a plethora of platforms available, there are countless ways to mindlessly scroll. The constant bombardment of notifications means young adults are not just ignoring one message; they are often overlooking many. This nonstop stimulation can lead to digital fatigue, which makes even the simple act of responding feel like a chore.
2. Mental Health. Understandably, every young adult is different. If somebody is struggling with their mental health, it may be more difficult for them to respond. Mental illnesses like PTSD and depression are prone to making young adults withdraw socially, which can show in their texting behavior. If a young adult has ADHD, then they are more likely to be prone to distractions. They’ll probably receive the notification that they’ve received a text, but genuinely forget to respond. 
3. Lack of Interest. Sometimes, people don’t find other people interesting enough to respond. It’s sad, and a hard pill for the texter to swallow, but it’s the truth. Humans only engage in what they’re interested in. If they aren’t responding promptly, chances are the texter is at the very bottom of their list of priorities. 
4. Power. This is the most unlikely of reasons, but it’s still a possibility. When someone sends a text message, the receiver will undoubtedly receive a notification. Now, depending on the relationship with that individual, they may choose not to respond to ensure the texter thinks about them. Again, this reason is unlikely, however, it still may be the case. 
5. Relationship with the Texter. Depending on your relationship with the texter, they may rely on any of the four reasons mentioned above as justification for not responding. That relationship plays a significant role. Context matters. However, as shown in my example, even strong or positive relationships can still result in no response at all.

Regardless of the reason, one thing I’ve noticed among young adult texters is that politeness often goes out the window. When I text someone older, they usually respond promptly out of courtesy. Young adults, on the other hand, seem to struggle with the concept of polite communication.

As a young adult myself, I’ve been guilty of leaving people waiting for days. Sometimes weeks. But I’ve come to realize that no matter who texts me, I will respond within 24 hours. Even if it’s something small, I’ll reply.

So, if you’re a young adult reading this, I encourage you to get better at responding to texts. It’s polite. You don’t have to reply immediately, but replying late is better than not replying at all.