Introduction
We are quite familiar with midlife crises where adults nearing retirement age feel that their lives start to feel stagnant and start doing something unexpected with their lives just to reignite the spark of living. However, what if a personal crisis starts earlier in an adult’s life, instead of later? When young adults just entering adulthood start questioning their life choices and become uncertain about where their futures are heading, it might be a sign that they may be experiencing a quarter life crisis.
What is this Quarter-life Crisis?
Quarter-life crises present a period of uncertainty and questioning among young people in their mid-20s or early-30s, who feel uninspired by their current lives or disillusioned by their possible futures. The worries of whether they can build a fulfilling life will lead young adults into a spiral of sorrow and anxiety, and judging from a study showing that 75% of adults today between 25 and 33 already suffered from a quarter life crisis, this trend might get worse.
Shame, anxiety, and depression are some of the uncomfortable feelings those suffering from a quarter-life crisis will experience. Believing themselves to be failures for not achieving what is expected of them, leading them down a spiral of guilt and shame. Defeatist thoughts start to take root within their minds and in the long run, individuals might give up caring for themselves and suffer from other issues, like having difficulty concentrating or insomnia.
Why Young Adults have a Quarter-life Crisis
Many factors can send a young person towards a spiral of doubt and uncertainty. They include high expectations being placed on them, their inability to handle adult responsibilities, and being unclear about their own life goals.
Societal pressures to build a successful life place a heavy burden on young adults. Those starting out might expect they can accomplish that by following a set script like getting a stable job, finding a partner, buying a home, and then raising a stable family. If they are unable to achieve that despite their efforts, they may start doubting whether they lived their lives in a ‘correct’ way.
Young adults joining adulthood may be faced with responsibilities they might not be prepared for, especially those who had few responsibilities before reaching adulthood. Responsibilities like managing finances, researching real estate, job hunting, or caring for their elders might be manageable in theory, but attempting to handle them all without good guidance can stress young adults who are stumbling through their lives. The pressure to succeed in all of them will most likely break them and send them into a deeper crisis.
Throughout their lives, young people are expected to pursue their life goals, but there are also many who coasted through life without considering their futures. When reality hits them and they ultimately must fend for themselves, they struggle to find a goal to take their lives towards. This lack of direction soon breeds uncertainty, which then leads them to question what they should do with their lives.
How do Young Adults Overcome this Crisis?
The first method to resolving a quarter-life crisis is to reflect on what our core values are. Our core values represent what is important to us and what we want to do with our lives. Being mindful of our actions while identifying what our thoughts are at the current moment allows us to realize what motivates us and drives us forward. All in all, having a clear set of values gives us a direction, however blurry, on where to direct our energies.
Another solution is to temper expectations on what a young person can accomplish during their time. Life is a marathon, and everyone achieves success and contentment at different times. “Comparison is the thief of joy” as they say, and it would be unfair to compare your own progress with others, especially if you are comparing yourself to little Jim’s success where he had a head start in the form of a million-dollar inheritance from his parents. Living in the time where one compares their success to another, the constant lesson of “stop comparing yourself to others” remains as relevant as ever.
Finally, the last but most important method of overcoming a quarter-life crisis might be to seek help, preferably from a professional. It can be hard to admit our worries to anyone without being judged harshly for ‘laziness’, but our generation fortunately is more open to seeking mental help compared to those before. Therapists and counselors are trained to hear and help with your worries, and it would do us good to have someone to vent our frustrations and help us realize what direction our lives should take.
Conclusion
For many ‘functional’ adults, it is unthinkable that the younger generation has entered crisis mode as soon as they enter the adult world, yet here we are. Issues like high expectations, the burden of responsibilities, and unclear life goals can send young adults into a crisis, leaving them unsure on how to live their lives. To anyone who is suffering from a quarter-life crisis so soon in their lives, I say: we did our best to make something out of our lives and it can be disheartening that a crisis comes during the time when we just started out, where we are unsure of our goals in life and whether our efforts are worth something. However, we are not alone as others also questioned whether it is worth continuing to live with purpose. No matter what life throws at us, our pursuit of a stable life makes our current lives worth living.