On October 21, 2024
By Zi Yuan Wong

‘Giving up’ can be one of those ‘unacceptable’ phrases no one wants to hear when chasing their dreams. I mean, they pour their heart and soul to accomplish something and now you are telling them to stop. Who has the heart to tell them that, especially when all of us are taught to persevere, endure, and not give up when faced with problems in our lives?

Despite what many might think, sometimes, giving up on something is just what people need given their circumstances. Maybe the person decides the thing is not worth fixing, or they are done living up to people’s expectations, or they decide to be the bigger person and start making decisions for themselves. Whatever the reasons, giving up should be seen as a viable action, not something that should be condemned.

Giving Up means cutting our losses

We are constantly taught that persevering and overcoming challenges is helping us grow as a person. That is until we encounter a challenge that ends up consuming more of our lives than we expected. After spending countless hours and resources getting it to work, our efforts still ended up leading nowhere, leaving us poorer in resources and emotionally drained.

If something demands too much of our lives and no longer brings any satisfaction by achieving it, cutting our losses by giving up is always an option. Sometimes the sacrifices and effort needed to fix the problem outweigh the benefits, and the satisfaction of completing it does not seem worth it. By giving up, we remove ourselves from the burden of pursuing a doomed path and are free to move on with our lives.

Giving Up means letting go of expectations

We all wanted to impress and repay the people who supported us while growing up. That means we strive to meet the expectations placed on us, to prove that their faith in us is warranted. However, other’s expectations will continue to increase, soon expecting us to achieve what they did back in the day. They might soon think, if they can succeed at building a stable life at a specific age, then so can we.

Despite their encouragement during hard times with phrases like “keep going” and “you can do it” to keep my spirits up, the words ended up becoming increasingly hollow and condescending since it came from those that have succeeded in another time with different circumstances. For the people that tried meeting those expectations but are unable to do so, they will feel bad about not achieving the same level of success as them.

By giving up, it means letting go of other’s expectations of you and no one’s voice but your own will influence your opinions and values. Advice from others is appreciated but the recipient of those words must have the final say, whether that decision leads to either good or bad outcomes. If giving up means releasing oneself from others expectations, then so be it.

Giving Up as a Sign of Maturity

Another reason we refuse to give up is because we think we have no choice. Even when continuing is no longer worth it, despite the facts, we still feel that giving up means all our efforts will be wasted and are worth nothing in the end, so we continue anyway. We were taught to overcome every obstacle in our way in pursuit of anything, sometimes blindly, and we never considered stopping and reflecting as a valid option.

Choosing to give up means finally deciding that stopping is what’s best for ourselves. The decision has a chance of not leading to anything good in the long run, but we are at least mature about that and accept the consequences our decision brings. Hence, choosing to give up is another sign of personal maturity, where we accept the outcomes of our decisions and decide to live with that fact.

So, should we just give up?

From juggling our studies to our jobs while hoping for a better tomorrow, the future seems increasingly bleak, and the thought of giving up becomes all the more tempting. We can continue to fight against the struggles, but when our efforts no longer result in anything meaningful, by choosing to give up, it lets us cut our losses, release ourselves from others’ expectations, and display our maturity by owning up to the consequences of our decisions.

Let me end this sermon by saying that giving up does not mean neglecting to take care of yourself. Giving up on pursuing something is fine, but completely giving up on yourself means giving up on living and pursuing what makes you happy. When no one else is there to make you happy, who else can do that but yourself?