Side effects of writing

-- Christina Thury

Writing is a private affair and should be practiced while the world sleeps, preferably between the hours of 11 p.m. and 2 a.m., behind closed doors, alone. The art and/or the act of writing takes a lot of energy and creativity. It is a good idea to have water, granola and dried fruit handy for your journey into the mind, heart and soul. If your creative juices are not flowing, an alcoholic beverage may be used to aide you in getting started.

This is a very dangerous habit to get into and your work must always be checked the morning after to ensure clarity, intelligence and logic. It is wise not to expose your rough drafts until you are ready to share your most intimate pieces with the world. Writing may be both praised and criticized at the same time, which might leave you (the writer) confused. If this happens, simply say “thank you for your time” and move on to the next draft.

Writing is very traumatic for many people. If feelings of anxiety or terror come on when faced with a blank sheet of paper or a stark white computer screen and a looming deadline, relax. Know that you have a fairly common problem that most, if not all writers have faced at one time or another.

If the anxiety or terror continues, try holding on to a teddy bear or ask a friend to sit with you until the difficult time passes. If the anxiety or terror still continues, you may wish to seek professional help, or take up a different career like basket weaving to reduce the symptoms you’re experiencing.

Writing is addictive. If you find yourself writing instead of doing things that you once enjoyed like taking your dog for a walk, playing with your children or sleeping, then it might be time to seek professional help.

There is good news. The urge to write can be controlled and exercised in moderation successfully. On your way to recovery, watch out for writing’s equally addictive sidekick, reading. Do not substitute reading for writing. Although reading is habit forming, you don’t want to replace and old habit with a new one.

Writing is a source of entertainment. It is amusing to watch copy editors and editors debate whether a coma or semicolon should be added, or if it should be left as-is. Many minutes can be spent on this mini battle before they move on, valiantly fighting for their version of how a word should be spelled. “It’s theater,” the copy editor says. “No it’s theatre” the editor intelligently informs all. If a verbal war ensues, it is best to leave the room – grab a coffee, come back in about 15 minutes and see who is left standing.

Writing is like a chocolate soufflé. Ingredients are precisely measured and carefully blended. Then it is baked to perfection. It will not tolerate yelling, running or the slam of an oven door. Writing too, demands precision and careful blending. It is the writer that often demands perfection. Writing is best performed without yelling, monstrous kids running underfoot or while trying to cook a chocolate soufflé.

Writing is a work of art that is always changing. The writer may continue to form their piece through editing. It is necessary to run a spell check and proofread before the final version is sent out. For example, if you mean to say “Please ask me if you have any questions.” But “Please ass me if you have any questions” is accidentally typed, spell check won’t catch it because “ass” is spelled correctly. This can be a source of embarrassment and confusion.

Writing is healing and productive for some people. If you are one of these lucky people that does not experience anxiety, addiction or terror while engaging in the activity, please write a self-help book to guide other writers toward the euphoria that you feel when you write, so we can quit going to these Writers Anonymous meetings. Who knows? Writing may be profitable after all.

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