Diagnosed in College

-- Tori Turnquist

I was diagnosed with a life-threatening illness in the winter of 2005 while finishing my two-year degree at a local community college. My life became a constant struggle. My body was suffering from thyroid failure and had become so sensitive that dizziness, body aches, fever and lack of nutrition was a daily routine. From the moment I woke up, my body would start to crash. I could never feel rested. I thought a young college student and sleep deprivation went together like peas and carrots, but this was different. And so different that I had no idea what would happen. Would I be able to finish my classes and get my associate of arts degree? I had three-and-a-half weeks left to go in the semester.

I was already taking too many classes that semester, but wouldn't have it any other way. Because I had a full-time day job, I enrolled in night classes. I also took classes during my lunch hour; my company graciously gave me two hours three times a week to leave the office for school. I had managed to cram work and college into every hour of the day. I had even found the time to play soccer for the Minnesota Women's Soccer League, and spend time with my brother, his wife and our parents every week for Sunday dinner.

So even before my diagnosis, my schedule, stress and sanity levels were teetering every day.

After a few doctor visits and seeing a specialist for some routine tests, I found out I needed surgery within a matter of weeks. My whole life stopped that day. I had been able to keep my courses, work and life under control, but I couldn't control my health. At the age of 22, my body was failing me. I felt anxious and angry, spending days in grief. Part of it had been my own fault. I knew that my out of the ordinary symptoms were serious and needed immediate attention. I had been ignoring my intuitive warnings because it was getting in the way of the rest of my life. My illness didn't go away, and prolonging treatments only made matters worse.

I got up and got active. I had three weeks before finals, and two days to find solutions. My doctor and I agreed on a surgery date that was a week before finals. It was too soon for me, and not quick enough for him. I spent the next day working with professors, and arranged to take my final exams a week early, the same week of my surgery. To be exact, all my finals were taken over a nine-hour period in a testing center, and the next day I was admitted for surgery at 5:47 a.m.

The days following, I was relieved to be through with the procedure. I had expected to be on my feet and back to myself in no time, never stopping to cope and continuing at warp speed. The recovery process took much longer than expected, forcing me to face my feelings. Most importantly, it slowed me down, and I had no choice but to take care of myself. Something I should have done from the beginning.

I realized that if I don't make healthy decisions in my life, the effect is an unhealthy life style.

My life is still stuffed with work, class, athletics and family. If I'm not feeling well I won't reflect what I'm worth to what I cherish most. First priority is my health, because without it, I have nothing. I made changes in my schedule to slow down, and leave time every day to take care of myself. Difficult situations can feel ruthless and uncontrollable.

Talking with my professors gave me options for my course work. I had the opportunity to either finish my classes early, take an academic absence for the semester and finish my classes at a later time, or completely withdraw and take a semester off for recovery. After exhausting every idea, I was able to make a decision about my future. When my life feels like confusion and chaos, I stay true to myself and keep a focused head. With new wisdom, I know no matter what the news is, not to panic because there's always a solution. Mostly, it's knowing there is no option: you have to take care of yourself.