Paul Blart: Mall Cop sweeps 2010 Academy Awards in advance Cannes, Sundance, other festivals rave about Kevin James masterpiece

By Poll Itzer-Prise

In keeping with their efforts to make the Oscars more in touch in popular culture, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has opted to cancel the traditional broadcast in 2010 and has presented every Oscar to Kevin James and the Paul Blart: Mall Cop team.

“It’s a very accessible movie,” said an Academy spokesman. “Kevin really captured the essence of the working man and his everyday struggle. It’s really like a modern-day Death of a Salesman, or The Grapes of Wrath 2. In another era, Henry Fonda would have played Paul Blart.”

The winning team is planning to celebrate the win(s) with 2-4-1’s and half-off appetizers at an area Applebee’s. If you would like to vote for your favorite Oscar nominee, request the friendship of the Academy on Facebook and IM your choice via the Chat feature.