Your GPS may be trying to kill you

You know that nice friendly voice on your GPS? Maybe it’s the woman with the nice British accent, or the man that sounds like James Bond, or the one that sounds like your grandma...well, it might be trying to kill you.

In a move that hasn’t been attempted since MapQuest decided to lead you astray in 2003 and landed you in the Warehouse District with all those rabid dogs, your GPS has decided that it isn’t sure if it knows exactly where it’s going anymore.

You may have noticed that Bond doesn’t sound so sure when he tells you to turn left, or when he tells you your destination is up on the right, it’s because he knows it’s nearly the end. When assessed prior to release by assembly line workers at Tom-Tom, your GPS did not present to be the most stabile personality, but because of cost effectiveness, the workers decided to release it anyway.

“We know they will snap at one point or another, it’s just a question of when,” stated assembly worker Jim Teacher. “We’ve been lucky so far, that there have only been one or two out there that have lead their owners to actual death, but it’s probable that there will be a lot more in the future.”

GPS systems go through rigorous testing before they are released to the retail market, but because they are programmed robots, a level of uncertainty goes along with purchasing them.

“Robots are going to destroy us,” exclaimed a hyper-sensitive Shirley Simon. “And GPSs are no different. Nearly all my friends that have one have told me at one time or another that the GPS lead them to a lake in the middle of nowhere and told them to keep driving. Can you believe it?”

In a candid moment, Teacher confirmed Simon’s story, stating that yes, in fact, your GPS wants you to drive into that lake.