Boeing to build world’s most inefficient plane

Renton, Wash.—Boeing Corp. announced today that several high-profile CEOs have contacted them to start design on a future-changing project that will allow the US to be the new world leader in fuel inefficiency. “We’re really excited about our plan,” stated John Igor, CEO of Coal, Inc. “I think this will allow the US to become a serious competitor in the inefficient fuel market, considering all of the other US markets has been going down the crapper lately.”

Blueprints have not yet been released for the new design, but Boeing has announced that they have used un-recycled paper to draw them up and will not release them to any source that will print them on recycled paper. “We think that these plans are just too important to print on recycled paper,” stated Jill Waste, designer for Boeing. “I mean, why would we print something that is this big of a deal on old mushed up copies of the Wall Street Journal or people’s old credit card statements? That’s ludicrous.”

Some of the design features that have been confirmed by Igor are:single seat interiors, so only one passenger may fly per plane; lead weights, that will allow the plane to burn more fuel than necessary; and bathrooms that spew their contents (including disinfectant bowl cleaner to keep the interior of the bathroom clean) into the wind when flushed.

Boeing has not yet announced the finalization date on the aptly named Burner1000, but anticipates that production will commence closer to the end of 2009 once they have finished convincing Congress that the US needs to be the leader in some market—why not fuel inefficiency?