Paperwork takes over Metropolitan State University

By Terry Dactiyl

In a rare strategic move, Paperwork announced today that it is taking over Metropolitan State University. At a meeting on March 30, 2009, attended by all the forms on campus, a vote confirmed the ever present need for more Paperwork and it was determined that the only way this could happen was if Paperwork actually took over the university.

“It is important that students and staff alike realize how important paperwork is,” stated SWAF. “The more Paperwork there is, the more efficiently we can get things done.”

There seems to be some contention among forms as to exactly which forms will take over different areas of the university. Forms have also shown some serious animosity for the Paperwork that is done electronically.

“It only seems logical that Paperwork that is still in its true paper form take over the university as it has more access to the inside workings. Any Paperwork that can be done online, such as the class schedule and registration, is really out of the running,” said Metropolitan State Application Form.

Students and staff alike have expressed concern about the takeover, but realize that it’s going to happen regardless of what they do and most don’t have the energy to complain about it. “I was really excited for a possible change at Metropolitan State, until I realized that Paperwork was still in a position to take over,” stated a bogged down student. “At this point, I can’t do anything but fill out a complaint form and I just don’t have time for that.”

It is yet unknown exactly what Paperwork’s strategy is for the final university takeover and which manual will lead the university. Students and staff alike should be aware that it may likely take place on recycling day.