You might be a Metro State student if…

-- Robert Lloyd

Your tuition is rising faster than Red McCombs’ asking price for the Minnesota Vikings.

You can’t tell if that low, rumbling noise you hear means that you are getting hungry or another plane is landing at Holman Field.

Your instructor thinks calling it an “early night” means letting your class out at 9:19 p.m.

You have a list of five things you can do while waiting in line to leave the student parking lot.

You lose count of all the windows in the executive and faculty offices while walking to your dungeon-like basement classroom.

After trying to read a note from your instructor, you wonder if your eight-year-old niece might have better penmanship.

You risk your life crossing town in rush-hour traffic, only to discover that your class assignment could have been completed at home.

You believe the person who designed your classroom may have found his degree in a Cracker Jack box.

You order your books early and then learn on the first day of class that your instructor has changed the required reading list.

You know that the average adult attention span is about an hour, but your instructor only allows one five-minute break for a three-hour class.

You can see the State Capitol from campus, yet the state Legislature seems light-years away when it comes to properly funding higher education.

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